I remember the talks that we just couldn't have another one for a long time- maybe not until Noah was off his diet and we knew he was going to be ok. Maybe never. His illness caused so many setbacks for us and I was mad our son had to suffer like that, furious that we all had to go through it, and I resented it for affecting our family plans.
We had to consider if I was mentally and physically strong to be pregnant, care for Noah, and manage his diet... and we had to face the fears that our next child could have Doose Syndrome, too. So many 'what ifs', but we both knew it was time. It was time to take back our desires, remove ourselves. from survivor mode and get ready for battle. We weren't going to let those stupid seizures win. We were actually going to go on with our lives.
Shortly after our decision, a new life was growing in my body. From the very beginning it was like an experiment of sorts. After all we'd been through with Noah, we wanted to do everything completely different with this next baby.
Pretty much the opposite of how we parented before was called Attachment Parenting. We fell right into place. It worked. And it made so much sense.
Three years ago today, Grayson was born. Just like most mothers, whether they live the AP lifestyle or not, our bond was instant. I wasn't going to let him go.
Some Moms wear their babies out of convenience, or necessity. I wear mine to keep them closer to my heart.
I'm not saying that parenting this way made us perfect- because if anything I think it has magnified our flaws and weaknesses. But it has made us more aware. We show up for life, when our name is called; we are present.
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This month is Attachment Parenting month, dedicated to the importance of giving our children presence.