October 21, 2008

The 5 Week Plea For Amnesty

Ivy turned five weeks already. I weighed her yesterday and she's 12 lbs! I love it.

This marks the time when I'm finally ready to get my act together. I'm putting on makeup. Wearing "normal" clothes. (Do not assume that means non-maternity. It just means non-pajama.) I'm not as embarrassed to leave the house. And I'm getting a new hair style tomorrow. (I plan to keep it long but you want to take bets on me deciding to chop it all off at the last minute? I've been known to do that.)

So now, some letters of apology.

Dear Friends & Family,


As I am crawling out of the new baby haze, please forgive me of my forgetfulness if I've not sent a proper thank you note for the lovely baby gifts. And I probably have written to you over and over in my mind at 3 am many nights, but I have no idea where a pen is in this house.



Dear Bathroom Floors,

I know you are used to neglect and utter disregard, but this is the longest I've ignored you and in a house with four males I am asking you from the bottom of my heart to hang in there just a little bit longer. And if you could pretty-please start repelling stray pee that would help immensely.
Thanks.


Dear Eyebrows,

What a fright I had when I finally gave myself a really good look in the mirror today. Why didn't you say something before? I am so so so sorry.



Dear Belly,

Ok. I'm begging you for mercy. What the heck are you hanging around for? You were cute for a while but it's definitely time for us to part ways.



I do hope you all understand, as I've been caught in the gaze of a beautiful little baby girl for the past several weeks and it's just been heavenly. Cut me some slack? Mwah! You're the best.

Love, Steph

56 comments:

  1. LOL, Every new mom should tape this to her fridge, especially first-time moms!

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  2. Hey, it took me a lot longer than 5weeks to get to that point (and I'm still waiting for my belly to comply!). Ivy (and your sweet boys) are so lucky to have a loving and attentive mama. Cuddle that wee one all you can.

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  3. OMG i think i wrote this same letter in my baby diary after my 2nd son was born. I, as gardenmama said , am still waiting on a reply from my belly and it has been almost 3 years so i am thinking i will get no reply lol. I hopr you are enjoying every minute of that sweet little baby. I cant wait til i have a new lil one!

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  4. Oh so funny! But Oh so true!

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  5. I love the letter way too funny. It is the truth though. You are too funny.

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  6. Ok, it's been 19 months here and my belly is still hanging around. I'm beginning to think it wants ME to do something about it. Ha!

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  7. If it makes you feel any better, I can't find my tweezers and my eyebrows are begging for a tweezing! You should see the caterpillars above my eyes!! ha. Can't wait to see the new do!

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  8. If your floors figure out the whole "pee repelling" thing would you PLEASE have them show mine?"

    K?

    Thanks!

    Cute post Steph! : ) Thanks for the smile today...

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  9. haha, omg you and I are twins! I got a good glimpse yesterday of my eyebrows when I actually used the mirror to put up a ponytail. I jumped when I saw the growth LOL!!!

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  10. this post is hilarious. I am so impressed that you are attempting to get back into the swing of things only after 12 weeks!

    meanwhile, I am so jealous you aren't writing a note to your hips. you are so lucky. I think my hips and I have to have a serious conversation. Its been 15 months!

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  11. Keep gazing. Forget the floors. Time has a way of flying...

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  12. I've been telling the belly the same thing every day for a year. They don't seem to listen well. ;)

    But let the notes, the floors, the eyebrows all take offense. You know how quickly you'll turn around and see her first birthday staring you in the face.

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  13. The stray pee concept makes me feel better about having to change diapers...

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  14. Oh I love it! We've all been there -- heck, just today I was looking at my eyebrows and thinking, "man, I gotta get those things waxed!" Glad you're feeling better though - I always said at 8 weeks with both of my girls, I was finally at the point where I knew "I can do this!" Before that . . . break downs, break downs, break downs.

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  15. Can I just copy and paste those letters please?
    Love them!

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  16. I'm having that conversation with my belly today - 6 1/2 months later

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  17. So funny! You made my day. I love good writing and a good laugh. :)

    Girl, no apologies necessary. I am amazed at how much writing and blogging you are still managing to do.

    And grocery shopping with 4? Not sure I could do it. SERIOUSLY. You are one super mom if you ask me! Now go get yourself some Starbucks!

    XOXO
    Lisa

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  18. You're hilarious.
    I hope your floors become good repellers, your brows jump back in a thin line, and someone brings you a box of pens for your bedside.

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  19. 5 weeks? You're doing great! It took me 6 months to get my act together! And,the belly. That's a whole other beast!

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  20. You are too funny! And it has only been five weeks! Good for you!
    Jen

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  21. While you are getting that haircut, get your eyebrows waxed. It is much easier than trying to tweeze all those stray hairs and takes a lot less time, plus lets you enjoy pampering just a little longer.

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  22. oh so true! Thanks for a chuckle :)

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  23. It's been 14 months and the belly still isn't complying... I guess I might have to work at making it go away... or something :)

    Oh & I linky loved you today!

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  24. Oh, I wrote a lot of those letters in my head after Emily. It can be so hard to get back in the groove. Go you for getting out of those pajamas- I swear it took a lot longer for me ;)

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  25. Would it be wrong to offer this up as a 15 month plea? I'm just that far behind.

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  26. I couldve written that VERY letter after each of my kids as well! MUCH longer than 5 weeks with G because he was back in the hospital by 5 weeks!

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  27. Great letter. Only five weeks though?? Seriously time flies when you have a new little one and before you know it she will be wrestling with her brothers. Mine started a few months ago, but is really giving him a run for his money now.

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  28. something must go and I think you've chosen right. the floors, and everyone else, will understand. Reading you always makes me miss the baby stage so much (and my youngest is only 11months!) But it's something that just goes too fast and I love how you every day are savoring it.

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  29. What a great bunch of letters! Think I might have to borrow them in about 6 or so weeks myself - God willing! Heehee!

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  30. Hee hee! I've had to send some similar 'notes' myself--

    Blessings!

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  31. You always have a way to make me laugh! Can't wait to see the new hair cut!

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  32. This should just be a standard thing they give you at the hospital (or that the midwife has in her bag of tricks) with a line at the bottom to sign your name...

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  33. I can't believe it's only been 5 weeks, it seems like Ivy has been around forever!

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  34. Very cute post! I am sending out the site for my most recent post that talks about celebrating motherhood. I am wanting any and all ideas and thoughts from other ladies out there who can easily relate and know what would be needed by a mother. Check it out and let me know what you think...and any ideas would be great! Thanks!
    www.blessings-fromourhometoyours.blogspot.com

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  35. Glad to hear you're getting back on track!

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  36. Oh, this is great! It really feels like just yesterday that I was there.

    I think at about six weeks I told someone that I was getting into a new routine. At six months I tracked them down and told them I lied!!!

    Oh, and about then I chopped my hair too! I loved it, BUT now I'm wishing it would grow faster!!!!!

    Hugs,
    Heidi

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  37. I gave you an award. Check it out.

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  38. Oh Steph, you are too funny! Love these little notes! And I agree with Kim - this should be taped to the fridges of first-time-moms!!

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  39. I love this! I can definitely relate to the eyebrows...even now! Yikes!!

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  40. Loved your post, but you forget to apologize to the refrigerator for not cleaning it out sooner rather than later.

    Oh wait . . . sorry that was meant for my apology list. Not yours.

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  41. hehe, you are so cute! i can't wait to see your new 'do. :)

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  42. You are hilarious. Now go take a nap. :)

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  43. This is HILARIOUS. You get at least 5 more weeks of amnesty!! :)

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  44. I was singing this same song about a week ago as my 3rd is now almost 6 weeks old. I wrote a post last week about how I'm starting to feel less 'foggy' and more like a normal person!

    This one is also my first girl and like you, I'm finding I'm a lot more 'girly' than I thought! It's fun!

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  45. I've been writing those thank yous in my head too, for a couple months now since the boys' birthdays. Oy.

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  46. Ahhh, you're hilarious! And cute! Thanks for the fun post -- laughter has been really missing around here lately.

    But!!! We got some great news yesterday afternoon. My daughter is starting the keto diet on MONDAY!!!

    (Can you tell I'm excited?!)

    I realize that she may not react as miraculously as Noah did, but... we can always hope!

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  47. I love this! Definitely cut yourself some slack, momma. I have that same conversation with my eyebrows still (and my feet-so much for cute pedis on a regular basis!) after 19 months... ;)

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  48. LOL! What is up with the bellies?? Mine is refusing to leave, too!

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  49. (Dies laughing.) Oh, that is all so true. My eyebrows are threatening to just go ahead and join forces with my hairline. Think I'll leave 'em this way for Halloween. SCARY.

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  50. Maybe you could teach a class on Speaking Tough Love to the Belly. Mine has gotten smaller. But that extra skin; apparently, it feels entitled to stay.

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