Good luck! I know how you feel. We're tossing around the idea of a homebirth for whenever we decide to have #2, and honestly, the only thing that is holding me back is the thought of breaking up with my midwife. I absolutely adore her, and she did such an amazing job when my son was born. Like you said, I almost wish she'd done or said something to make it an easy choice. Of course, in my biggest wishes, she decides that she wants to do home births, thus solving my whole problem, but that's pretty wishful thinking.;)
That's awesome, Stephanie! I'm seriously thinking about a home birth next time (if the Lord gives us a next time). I have an incredible OB but some things happened during postpartum that I think were directly related to being in the hospital. Besides I want my baby with me the WHOLE time (with a few shower/potty breaks in between:) I'll pray for your courage and stamina. Congrats!
I'm proud of you for listening to your heart and doing what you feel is best for you, your family, and your new little princess. You go girl!! I'll be praying for you and your meeting that it all goes well.
I was wondering which way you'd end up going on this.
I'm the exact same way about awkward situations. I'm sure there are at least two if not three places where I am still on the payroll because I never officlaly quit, I just quit showing up. :)
I'm sure your doc will be nice about it. Good luck and deep breaths!
I'm sure if you go about it with complete grace, he'll do the same thing. I'm so very excited for you... soooo, you'll live blog the whole birth, right? ;)
I'm glad you're feeling good about it! I know things will work out fine. I had all three of my children at home, it was the best experience of my life!
Good for you, Steph! Go with what you know is right for you and this baby, and all will be well. It takes bravery to stand up for yourself. I'm going through a similar situation (although not with a doctor and pregnancy) and it can be tough, but if you know that you know that you know you are doing what you need to, you'll be ok no matter how they (or others) react. I'll be praying.
It's hard, but you will be great. Good for you, making the best choice for your family. I am sure that your doc will agree with you, or at least not try to talk you out of it. Let us know how it goes.
I'll be praying that it goes well. I know what it's like to want to leave the relationship intact, and not burn any bridges or hurt feelings unnecessarily.
It looks like I'll be doing something similar at the end of this week, having to tell our midwife that we're just not connecting, and that we are going with someone else. We chose her so we could have a home birth, but then my husband decided he just couldn't handle that for our first baby, and the midwife turned out to be a "just lie back in the stirrups and let me do all the deciding" type. Ah, you are right, breaking up is no fun at all, and in my case, it will necessitate burning a bridge or two.
I've been thinking the same thing. I don't know about home birth...but I just do not get into my ob. Actually, I don't even know WHO my Dr. is! I see someone new every time and I feel like a little cow being herded in and out!
Today I've been researching natural childbirth-friendly doctors and hospitals around here. I'm tempted to just skip out on my 30 week appointment and make an appointment with a new doc!
Were there any money issues b/c of stopping your care w/the doctor?
Glad you are feeling at peace and I hope the appointments go well. I can't think of anything more wonderful than a homebirth. I love it and can't imagine anything more wonderful. =)
YAY for homebirth!! and good for you for doing what you felt was right in your heart. so many mamas stick it out in a situation they are not comfortable with or with a provider that isn't right because they feel it is too late to change their mind.
Hey Steph! :) Speaking of homebirth, have you seen the new Ricki Lake/Abby Epstein documentary "The Business of Being Born"? We just watched it at girls' night and I thought it was a fantastic perspective of midwifery and homebirths (and I'm the epidural-loving hospital type). If you haven't seen it already you should definitely check it out! You go mama.
Steph... Last summer I read the book BIRTH: The Surprising History of How We Are Born, by Tina Cassidy. I loved it. It mesmerized me. I actually want to read it again. The author comes from Rhode Island, and I know her mom in a business association.
I had C-sections with Audrey and Jane, but I have always been fascinated with home births. You must follow your heart... but I would like to know how your Mom feels about it.
Good for you, brave woman! I wish I was courageous enough to go for a homebirth. I'm scared of going natural, though. (if I DID, it'd be a water birth)
Ill be sending good thoughts your way-I hope it goes well! And if not, no worries, you are doing what is best for you and your desire, which really is half the battle of birthing! Take care!
What a powerful decision you've made! God bless! I've given you an award! Check it out at http://procrastinationandthensome.blogspot.com/2008/07/sharing-love.html
my friend and i have had this conversation about our ob's before. i mean, we share a really strong bond with them, you know? they've seen the most intimate times in our lives, and when you leave them, it really is sad! i get sad that i don't see my doctor anymore...really, i love her! and she totally treats her patients like she loves them. i totally understand how you must be feeling. if i would have had to do what you're doing, i would have definitely cried!!
and I wanna know how the story ends. I'm in the same boat, except for the pregnancy part. But the homebirth/breaking up part is the same for me next time around...
Congrats Steph! I'm glad you and your husband were able to work this our financially. I'm so eager to read your birth story! You are continually in my prayers for a safe and successful birth.
I am so excited for you that you are going to be able to have this baby the way you've dreamed! I understand your concern about telling the doc, but you will be fine. good luck! Love ya! Jen
I didn't know that you guys changed your minds about the homebirth. How exciting- it will be such an amazing experience!! I can't wait to hear your story! Anyway, hope the break-up goes well.
I hope he doesn't try to "scare" you out of it either! Give us more details as to how you made the decision to birth at home...I remember you said birthing at home was going to be way more expensive than at the hospital.
After having a failed homebirth attempt and being transported 30 minutes to a hospital with Zoe in 2001 (daughter was facing the wrong way and weighed 10 lbs. and my midwife was NOT at all helpful), I opted for a Nurse Midwife in a Birthing Center with Troy in 2007.
But, I switched 3 times before finding the perfect midwife! You just know what's right.
And I'm sure you will be fine since this is your fourth time! Good for you!
How exciting, Steph! I switched to a homebirth practice at 20+ weeks with my second pregnancy and never looked back. I hope your conversation goes well.
Been thinking of ya -- you'll do just fine!!!
ReplyDeleteLori
I hope the appointment goes good- you will do great!!
ReplyDeletegood luck! it will go fine, and I think you are going about it the best way.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I know how you feel. We're tossing around the idea of a homebirth for whenever we decide to have #2, and honestly, the only thing that is holding me back is the thought of breaking up with my midwife. I absolutely adore her, and she did such an amazing job when my son was born. Like you said, I almost wish she'd done or said something to make it an easy choice. Of course, in my biggest wishes, she decides that she wants to do home births, thus solving my whole problem, but that's pretty wishful thinking.;)
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome, Stephanie! I'm seriously thinking about a home birth next time (if the Lord gives us a next time). I have an incredible OB but some things happened during postpartum that I think were directly related to being in the hospital. Besides I want my baby with me the WHOLE time (with a few shower/potty breaks in between:) I'll pray for your courage and stamina. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteYAY for homebirth!! I'm sure the appointment will go fine.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you for listening to your heart and doing what you feel is best for you, your family, and your new little princess. You go girl!! I'll be praying for you and your meeting that it all goes well.
ReplyDeleteI predict your doctor will be completely understanding and supportive.
ReplyDeletePlus, unlike a boyfriend, he'll always be waiting for you should you want to come back.
you'll do great and i think he'll understand!
ReplyDeleteI was wondering which way you'd end up going on this.
ReplyDeleteI'm the exact same way about awkward situations. I'm sure there are at least two if not three places where I am still on the payroll because I never officlaly quit, I just quit showing up. :)
I'm sure your doc will be nice about it. Good luck and deep breaths!
I'm sure if you go about it with complete grace, he'll do the same thing. I'm so very excited for you... soooo, you'll live blog the whole birth, right? ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're feeling good about it! I know things will work out fine. I had all three of my children at home, it was the best experience of my life!
ReplyDeletei hope it goes well...i'm sure it will!
ReplyDeleteIt'll be just fine! I'll be thinking about you, though!
ReplyDeletegood luck to you! i hope you have a wonderful birth experience at home.
ReplyDeleteI hope it all goes smoothly and he doesnt try to scare you out of it.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Steph! Go with what you know is right for you and this baby, and all will be well. It takes bravery to stand up for yourself. I'm going through a similar situation (although not with a doctor and pregnancy) and it can be tough, but if you know that you know that you know you are doing what you need to, you'll be ok no matter how they (or others) react. I'll be praying.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! I know everything will turn out just fine! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh I hate when I have to be "not nice" to people like that. Hope it goes well.
ReplyDeleteBe strong - go for what's right for you and baby!
ReplyDeleteEverything will go smoothly, I feel it.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard, but you will be great. Good for you, making the best choice for your family. I am sure that your doc will agree with you, or at least not try to talk you out of it. Let us know how it goes.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying that it goes well. I know what it's like to want to leave the relationship intact, and not burn any bridges or hurt feelings unnecessarily.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like I'll be doing something similar at the end of this week, having to tell our midwife that we're just not connecting, and that we are going with someone else. We chose her so we could have a home birth, but then my husband decided he just couldn't handle that for our first baby, and the midwife turned out to be a "just lie back in the stirrups and let me do all the deciding" type. Ah, you are right, breaking up is no fun at all, and in my case, it will necessitate burning a bridge or two.
I will be praying for you! Hope it goes well for you...
ReplyDeleteHope your appt goes well. You are doing what's right for you, no matter what happens. Often, the right decision is the hard one.
ReplyDeleteKeep us posted!
I've been thinking the same thing. I don't know about home birth...but I just do not get into my ob. Actually, I don't even know WHO my Dr. is! I see someone new every time and I feel like a little cow being herded in and out!
ReplyDeleteToday I've been researching natural childbirth-friendly doctors and hospitals around here. I'm tempted to just skip out on my 30 week appointment and make an appointment with a new doc!
Were there any money issues b/c of stopping your care w/the doctor?
Glad you are feeling at peace and I hope the appointments go well. I can't think of anything more wonderful than a homebirth. I love it and can't imagine anything more wonderful. =)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHomebirth is grand! You will NOT regret your decision!!! Good luck talking with your OB. :)
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Jill
Things like that are always more scary in your mind than in real life. It's funny how somethiing that might last 5 minutes you can dread for weeks!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are making the right choice for you!
Gosh, I hope that went well! Will you stay with your doctor for follow-up appointments, etc.?
ReplyDeleteJust wondering what the protocol is; if we have another child I might consider doing the same.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I so wanted a home birth but 3 and 4 were not cooperative! I can't wait to hear your at home birth story!
ReplyDeleteYAY for homebirth!! and good for you for doing what you felt was right in your heart. so many mamas stick it out in a situation they are not comfortable with or with a provider that isn't right because they feel it is too late to change their mind.
ReplyDeleteand, wow! 30 weeks already! it won't be long...
xo,
erika
Hey Steph! :) Speaking of homebirth, have you seen the new Ricki Lake/Abby Epstein documentary "The Business of Being Born"? We just watched it at girls' night and I thought it was a fantastic perspective of midwifery and homebirths (and I'm the epidural-loving hospital type). If you haven't seen it already you should definitely check it out! You go mama.
ReplyDeleteSteph... Last summer I read the book BIRTH: The Surprising History of How We Are Born, by Tina Cassidy. I loved it. It mesmerized me. I actually want to read it again. The author comes from Rhode Island, and I know her mom in a business association.
ReplyDeleteI had C-sections with Audrey and Jane, but I have always been fascinated with home births. You must follow your heart... but I would like to know how your Mom feels about it.
Sharon
Good for you, brave woman!
ReplyDeleteI wish I was courageous enough to go for a homebirth. I'm scared of going natural, though. (if I DID, it'd be a water birth)
How exciting. You're getting close!
Good for ya!!!! hope everything goes well! Will be thinking of you on that special day
ReplyDeleteIll be sending good thoughts your way-I hope it goes well! And if not, no worries, you are doing what is best for you and your desire, which really is half the battle of birthing! Take care!
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful decision you've made! God bless! I've given you an award! Check it out at http://procrastinationandthensome.blogspot.com/2008/07/sharing-love.html
ReplyDeletemy friend and i have had this conversation about our ob's before. i mean, we share a really strong bond with them, you know? they've seen the most intimate times in our lives, and when you leave them, it really is sad! i get sad that i don't see my doctor anymore...really, i love her! and she totally treats her patients like she loves them. i totally understand how you must be feeling. if i would have had to do what you're doing, i would have definitely cried!!
ReplyDeleteand I wanna know how the story ends. I'm in the same boat, except for the pregnancy part. But the homebirth/breaking up part is the same for me next time around...
ReplyDeleteCongrats Steph! I'm glad you and your husband were able to work this our financially. I'm so eager to read your birth story! You are continually in my prayers for a safe and successful birth.
ReplyDeleteWow! A home birth! Good for you. I am praying for you and the doctor's heart! :)
ReplyDeleteI hope your appt goes well! Now you'll have awesome midwife appts to look forward to. :D
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you that you are going to be able to have this baby the way you've dreamed!
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern about telling the doc, but you will be fine. good luck!
Love ya!
Jen
Oh Steph that is so exciting! It's going to be so amazing-- I can't wait to hear all the details.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that you guys changed your minds about the homebirth. How exciting- it will be such an amazing experience!! I can't wait to hear your story! Anyway, hope the break-up goes well.
ReplyDeleteI hope he doesn't try to "scare" you out of it either! Give us more details as to how you made the decision to birth at home...I remember you said birthing at home was going to be way more expensive than at the hospital.
ReplyDeleteI switched doctors at 38 weeks. I am so glad I did. No regrets. You absolutely need to do this.
ReplyDeleteAfter having a failed homebirth attempt and being transported 30 minutes to a hospital with Zoe in 2001 (daughter was facing the wrong way and weighed 10 lbs. and my midwife was NOT at all helpful), I opted for a Nurse Midwife in a Birthing Center with Troy in 2007.
ReplyDeleteBut, I switched 3 times before finding the perfect midwife! You just know what's right.
And I'm sure you will be fine since this is your fourth time! Good for you!
How exciting, Steph! I switched to a homebirth practice at 20+ weeks with my second pregnancy and never looked back. I hope your conversation goes well.
ReplyDelete