July 16, 2008

Au Naturel

Yesterday was the day. I broke up with my OB. And it went well. In the end, we agreed to disagree. I'm very happy with that.

I understand that homebirth is not for everyone. But I know that it is for me, right now.

My all natural birth with Gray was less painful and by far more pleasant than my other births. And if it makes you feel any better, I am very low risk and we live 1.4 miles from the hospital.

It seems so silly now to say just what made me finally change my mind. But a friend told me about visiting another friend that just had a baby in the hospital recently and she said they glued a bow in the baby's hair. I thought, oh great, something else I'll have to add to my birthplan. No bow glue.

And when hubby and I were discussing that birth plan- mainly a long list of what we don't want to happen in labor and after the baby is born, we found ourselves saying, why are we having this baby in the hospital?

My original desire was to have a homebirth, but convenience and finances and a little bit of laziness on my part had me deciding on a hospital birth instead. The closer I've gotten to this little girl making her debut, the more I've felt that tug on my heart that I need to do what I really want and think is right for us.

One of my fondest memories of the day I had my first child, I was laboring on our bed upstairs while Jeff prayed beside me. It was incredible pain. And then it was the first time I was starting to understand how to listen to my body and not fight against it. It was there my water broke. There that my new life as a mother officially was beginning.

I envision giving birth to this baby girl, probably in that same bedroom, coming full circle from that day 7 and a half years ago. It just feels so right, and makes so much sense. A new life beginning in the place we do all of our loving and laughing and living.

In my mind, I am now at peace. To me, how she gets here and where she comes out isn't what really matters. The moment we can begin our new life with our first daughter, our sons' first sister, and possibly the completeness of our family... and all the moments to come after that are what it's really all about.


Belly, 30 weeks
Photo by Marianne McNamara, Scandica Fine Art Photography

94 comments:

  1. Gave me goose bumps! Wonderful post!!!

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  2. That's awesome. Your homebirth will be one of the most wonderful events of your life - mine were. I wish you and your baby the best.

    Oh and this one will be so easy! With my 4th I was dancing around to Patsy Cline (I find her voice so soothing!) and waited so long to call the midwife, she almost didn't make it. ;)

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  3. Beautiful post, Steph. What is best for you and makes you feel most at peace is what will be best for your girl. Best wishes for a happy and healthy birth.

    So glad my hospital didn't use bow glue; not that they would have needed it for Little.

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  4. Bow glue?? Wow! I hope your homebirth is a pleasant one. Have fun in SF!

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  5. Im glad it went well! Your belly is beautiful as are you!

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  6. I've had to fire several doctors - some amicably, some not. I wish you a safe and easy delivery that goes according to plan. I envy people like you who make plans and fulfill them. Plans never seem to work out for me.

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  7. When my daughter was born, they glued a little bow in her hair, but they used KY so just a little water and it came right out. I thought it was pretty cute.

    That is a beautiful picture. I am glad you are making the decision that is right for your family. I hope it is everything you want it to be.

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  8. I'm glad the break up went well. Breaking up isn't easy.

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  9. So glad it went well!

    (And I just totally remembered they put a bow in Lydia's hair when she was born, too. Ew.)

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  10. Completeness of family! I wouldn't utter those words too soon. You never can tell when someone else might pop along later.
    Cheers

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  11. Glad to hear it went well! Now you have great fun planning your homebirth. Homebirths are so conducive to introducing siblings to the new little one, I love that part!

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  12. What beautiful words to explain your decision! I am sure it will be a wonderful experience for you and your family. Many prayers for a safe and healthy birth for you and baby!

    Oh, but we still have to wait a little while, don't we? ; )

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  13. It isn't always easy following the decision that you know is best for your family, but I am so proud of you for doing it. I have loved my homebirths and wouldn't have it any other way. :)
    Why doesn't my 30 week belly look as cute as yours? ;)

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  14. Great post! I'm in total agreement for your choice of a home birth. We had considered it, but went for the birthing center with midwives in the end.

    Though, if your post is any indication, I might change my mind in about a month! Heehee!

    Your beautiful photos are making me seriously consider having a photo shoot of my own in ~5 weeks. :)

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  15. What a wonderful choice for your family. I look forward to hearing all about it one of these days!

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  16. Glad the breakup went so well.
    Such a beautiful post. :)

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  17. I'm so glad to hear that it went well. I can't wait to read your birth story!
    My first was a natural hospital birth, and I'm trying so hard to convince my husband of a homebirth when #2 happens, but he's still a little wary.

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  18. Beautiful belly! So glad the "break up" went well!

    xo,
    Jane

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  19. Hooray for you! Even though we went the birth center route as opposed to a home birth with this last baby, I totally "get" the feeling of "if this is what we want and we can't get it in a hosptial, WHY are we going to the hospital?" I know I've told you a million times by now, but I'm really so excited for you!

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  20. Beautiful post!
    It is wonderful to be able to decide were we want to give birth, be it a hospital, birth center or at home.
    I'm sure you are going to have a fabulous home birth experience and I can't wait to hear all about it!!

    PS, I'm glad the "break-up" with your OB went well.

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  21. Great pic and awesome post. I think it's so important to do what you're comfortable with during birth and it's so obvious that you're a peace about your decision and that is AWESOME!

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  22. One of the best things about having a natural childbirth is being able to be alert and able to know what is going on at all times. It is also great having no recovery period from drugs that were used. With your boys you didn't have to worry about "bow glue" which might have been that stuff they use to cover incisions for those of us allergic to latex.

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  23. seriously, bow glue???? o the list of reasons not to birth in hospital just keep growing.

    i had mine both in a hospital, but i happened to love the place. small, great nurses. they were both pure births or all natural. i used hypnobirthing techniques which are all about the more you relax and let your body do what it knows how to do, the less pain you will feel. it's the tension and whincing and FEAR that keep the pain in birth.

    my labors were not painful. but they were still labor! work, but not pain.

    i wish the best for you!

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  24. I'm going to be peeking through the windows, just an FYI.

    I'll be eating chocolate covered cashews, too. I have big plans.

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  25. I'm so happy for you, Steph. This is going to be magical for you. Not to mention spiritual and intense. I am rooting for ya! And your belly is so beautiful.

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  26. You crack me up, Beth! Steph will be covering her windows for sure.
    You are so brave. To do what is best for your family and go against the flow is not always the easiest road. Enjoy your time in SF.

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  27. Like lu, I got goose bumps reading that.

    No matter where she's born, this little girl of yours is one blessed little chickadee. Her momma rocks!

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  28. Beautiful post! And oh my goodness that is a fabulous photograph.

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  29. Bow glue! What is wrong with people???? Good for you for doing what feels right. That picture is amazing.

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  30. That was beautiful! I hope your homebirth is everything you want and I really hope you enjoy yourself in CA!

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  31. Without sounding weird, I really love you, Steph!

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  32. Beautifully written. And gorgeous photo. I'm all about the epidural, personally, but I'm rooting for you and a successful, all-natural homebirth! I can't wait to hear all about it. :-)

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  33. Beautiful post. I love your memory from your first labor.
    And I cannot believe the whole bow thing! Who would do that? It's just insane!

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  34. Your doctor doesn't have to agree with you. I know only of one doctor that would agree with you about this, the one with the Midwife nurse.

    It's what you feel is right, not what any doctor, friend, family members or anyone else thinks - it's what you and Jeff think is best.

    You have peace so I know it will be a peaceful birth!

    Amy

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  35. You will be so happy once it is all over. Then you will ask yourself why haven't I done it this way all the time. After our first baby at home my husband said that was so easy let's do it again. Well we have done it again a 2nd time, and a third time and soon to be a fourth time. Good luck.

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  36. Beautifully written! It will be so much easier visiting you at your house than the hospital:)

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  37. Amazing photo....beautiful words and feelings expressed. Good for you, keep following your heart because you won't go wrong. So excited for you all and this upcoming adventure!!! :) God bless!

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  38. I will be there to boil the water or whatever needs to be done. I am getting very excited!

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  39. I'm so glad it went well! Now YOU can decide when she wears a bow! :-) After all she's your baby, right?

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  40. I am so glad that you and hubby are at peace with your decision. I am glad the break up went well, too! I look forward to hearing about this journey of the homebirth. Good luck to you, and of course, you know you are all in my prayers!

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  41. I have five children and expecting number six. My first three were born in the hospital because I was 'scared' my last two (and the expected) were born at home and it was a much better experience! Beautiful picture!

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  42. Steph I can not say enough about that photo. I want to see more. Outstanding and totally worth getting up so early for!

    Also, it make me very happy to know you and the man are following your heart on how you want your baby girl's birth to go.

    We all look forward to meeting her and hearing of your home birth.

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  43. Like I said before, I love the COLORS!!! =)

    Enjoy your trip.

    Lori

    PS And we stayed at the SF's Marriott. Just thought you'd wanna know!

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  44. I love that pic! I can't wait to see more. I am so happy for you to get to follow your dreams! Are you having a midwife attend the birth or is it going to be you and hubby? Just curious!

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  45. I am so happy you are getting the birth you desire. I totally understand the list of don't.

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  46. Your belly pic is absolutely amazing! Best wishes on your home birth. I'd have loved to do that, but number 1 came 3 and a half months early and number 2 was very high risk. Oh well. I'm looking forward to reading the birth story of your little princess!

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  47. I hope you have a wonderful experience! I had toyed with the idea of having a homebirth with Lance, but there's a history of complicated births in my family, so I did the hospital thing instead.

    That is a beautiful photo.

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  48. Good for you for doing what you feel/know is right for you and your family! Oh...and they GLUED a bow to a baby's head?! Hmmm...I'm glad they haven't decided to glue bows to babies heads here in Canada yet. :)

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  49. Audrey - Mom GenerationsJuly 16, 2008 1:12 PM

    As only moms know... go with your heart and soul.
    My heart and soul said c-section for Henry. I was told yesterday by my doctor that he has never seen someone heal so quickly. I felt in November the only option for me and the safety of my child was a c-section.
    You know yourself better than anyone... good for you for making this decision! I have enjoyed reading about you deciding to do this.
    - Audrey

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  50. Still processing bow glue...

    I am so excited for you! I cannot wait to read all about the homebirth!!!!!

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  51. Congrats on the break up! Good luck with the home birth. BTW the bow glue thing is ridiculous I've never heard of that before.

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  52. Im so sorry you are getting hassle about it, if you are happy then that is what matters. I look forward to reading about your birth in a few weeks time

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  53. oh, this is wonderful! i look forward to hearing all about your home birth.

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  54. Beautiful, just beautiful. And, Bravo for doing what you know is right.

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  55. So sweet! I love it. Sounds like a wonderful decision.

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  56. I am so excited for you! I figure you probably know a ton of homebirthers, but feel free to send me an email if you want to talk about it!

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  57. what a beautiful post. your birth is going to be amazing. what a lucky little girl she is to have such a wise mama. :)

    and bow glue? oy.

    oh, and beautiful picture steph. :)

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  58. What a beautiuful photo. That is a keepsake! Great post, too. Thanks for sharing!

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  59. That was so beautifully written! And again, your tummy pic is soooo lovely!

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  60. I pray that all goes smoothly and you get the birth that you want the way God intended...naturally! Your pics are beautiful btw.

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  61. So beautiful. Your decision makes sense and I'm sure your birth will be a wonderful experience.

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  62. Beautiful.

    I wish I had investigated home births more indepth. I had my third child natural and it was by far more pleasant and incredible.

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  63. What a beautiful photo!

    I hope everything will go just as you want it to for your daughter's birth.

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  64. You have such a beautiful partnership with your husband and a wonderful family. Many blessings to you with your home birth. I can't wait to e-meet your baby girl!

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  65. What a great entry into the world this little one will have. This post was incredibly breathed out of you and onto the screen. Just loved it.

    And I'll be next to Beth, Bug Bites in hand...

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  66. So it WAS the bow glue! No matter, I'm just so happy to see you doing what you wanted from the start.

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  67. what a relief that everything went well with your OB. i have had hospital and home births and they were all beautiful and amazing. but, giving birth peacefully in your own home surrounded by family is beyond words. my last baby was born in a birth tub in the dining room and i will never forget climbing out of the tub with my newborn son in my arms and walking down the hall to our family bed. incredible!

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  68. Well - I am so glad that you made it through your break up! Mine were all born in the hospital, but we live 45 minutes away. . . still with a midwife and no drugs for the last 3 of 4, sticking up for yourself and what you believe can be hard - but doing it pays off big!
    Love your belly shot :)

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  69. Congratulations! That hurdle is over and you can relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy . . . I'm glad you're putting yourself and baby first!

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  70. I glad you did what you have to do! We too had plan a natrual homebirth but our plan got change (we end up having a C-section) but for this on it will be like last one a drug free delivery but I have to be in the hospital cause I have risk for complication and may need another C-section but we will try to have him or her natrually

    Good luck!!!!

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  71. Brought tears to my eyes! Remembering when my water broke...in my bed! I thought I had wet the bed, but DH had to help me understand that our little girl was coming instead!

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  72. Cool! I look forward to hearing how it went. I'd like to have a homebirth when we have another baby.

    They put GLUE on the baby's head? Why on earth would they do that?!

    Your belly looks pretty! Are you doing a cast of it or do you have one already from a previous pregnancy?

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  73. beautiful photo, love it. ur belly is so pretty.
    im glad the break up went well.
    wishing you the best on the home birth. my friend michelle had one not to long ago.. and ended up going into labor so fast that she was inthe shower... and caught her own baby.. before a midwife or anyone could get there. it was like a 10 lb baby 2.

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  74. Amazing thoughts - I am so glad your at piece and cant wait to see pictures - your belly looks beautiful!

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  75. That's a beautiful photo and a gorgeous post! Have fun at Blogher!

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  76. God bless you and your family. I wish you the best with the birth of your daughter. You have so much joy to look forward to. I have three beautiful little girls, and they mean the world to me. I really enjoyed reading your blog; it brought tears to my eyes:)
    jceko77@yahoo.com

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  77. That was a wonderful post. I loved reading it and am so happy you will have a home birth because it is what you feel is best for you and your baby. I so wanted to do home births but I am high risk so I could not, but I had my daughter at a wonderful maternity center and it was a natural birth.

    With my little Pickle, a hospital birth was the only option and because my water broke early, they put me on high doses of pitocin. Although I was able to have him without pain medication, it was a harder (but shorter) experience and the afterward was not great for us either. SO I am so glad for you.

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  78. Loved the post.

    LOVED the picture.

    Can't wait to watch your family grow.

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  79. You're giving me baby fever! So beautiful!

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  80. Oh wow. What a beautiful posts. A home birth? Go you! It's about you and your family, no one else.

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  81. Wow, I am so happy for you choosing a homebirth. I think you have made the right decision. What a blessing it will be to be in such a loving environment. I too chose a homebirth and am due a couple days after you. I will be anxious to hear how everything goes for you. Will your sons be attending the birth?

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  82. Good for you! I think if I had to do it all over again, I would go the natural route. Maybe not homebirth, but I think I'd love a water birth! But alas, there will be no more for us (we're okay with that).

    Hope you're having a great time in SF!

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  83. Steph - as you know, I'm SO behind on my blog reading, but just wanted to quickly say YAY for you!! I am thrilled to hear you are following what you know in your heart is best for this birth experience. I cannot WAIT to hear the birth story.

    Hope SF is more fun than you dreamed. ;)

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  84. I would volunteer to be your doula, but I my training will not be complete by your due date. Good luck with everything.
    Mary Ann (Jenny's mom)

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  85. We have 8, two of whom were born at home. Here's a fellow mama giving you thumbs up for a great decision and prays up for a healthy delivery!

    Blessings!

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  86. okay, that should have said 'prayers up'--I think I'm over my caffeine limit for the day....my typing is gettin' all jiggy...

    Blessings!

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  87. GOOD FOR YOU MAMA!!


    ::pat on the back::

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  88. Sometimes you just have to do what feels right. Good for you for listening to what you need, I know so many women who didn't, and regretted the choices that they made.

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  89. Awesome, Steph! I had two hospital births and one homebirth. My hospital births were medicated and I would take my homebirth anyday, over the hospital births. You will love what a blessing it is to birth in the comfort of your home! Blessings!

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  90. You go girl! I can't wait to hear all about it!!!!!! Beautiful picture of a complete circle!

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  91. Love this post, I remember it! It also makes me giggle to see Erin's comment "I'm trying really hard to convince my husband to let me have a homebirth with #2" ha ha ha....

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  92. I remember the day... I was also at that ob for my appointment!

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