I understand that homebirth is not for everyone. But I know that it is for me, right now.
My all natural birth with Gray was less painful and by far more pleasant than my other births. And if it makes you feel any better, I am very low risk and we live 1.4 miles from the hospital.
It seems so silly now to say just what made me finally change my mind. But a friend told me about visiting another friend that just had a baby in the hospital recently and she said they glued a bow in the baby's hair. I thought, oh great, something else I'll have to add to my birthplan. No bow glue.
And when hubby and I were discussing that birth plan- mainly a long list of what we don't want to happen in labor and after the baby is born, we found ourselves saying, why are we having this baby in the hospital?
My original desire was to have a homebirth, but convenience and finances and a little bit of laziness on my part had me deciding on a hospital birth instead. The closer I've gotten to this little girl making her debut, the more I've felt that tug on my heart that I need to do what I really want and think is right for us.
One of my fondest memories of the day I had my first child, I was laboring on our bed upstairs while Jeff prayed beside me. It was incredible pain. And then it was the first time I was starting to understand how to listen to my body and not fight against it. It was there my water broke. There that my new life as a mother officially was beginning.
I envision giving birth to this baby girl, probably in that same bedroom, coming full circle from that day 7 and a half years ago. It just feels so right, and makes so much sense. A new life beginning in the place we do all of our loving and laughing and living.
In my mind, I am now at peace. To me, how she gets here and where she comes out isn't what really matters. The moment we can begin our new life with our first daughter, our sons' first sister, and possibly the completeness of our family... and all the moments to come after that are what it's really all about.
Belly, 30 weeks
Photo by Marianne McNamara, Scandica Fine Art Photography