And Deep Down I Knew

This morning during the brief moments I gathered my thoughts in the shower, I was reminded of the pregnancies with my boys. With each one, hubby and I knew what their name would be if they were a boy, but we never had a good feeling about a girl name. With this pregnancy, the only name we feel is right, is truly the name of this baby, is a girl's name.

So I wondered if that was an indication. So many parts of me felt like I was carrying a daughter, the first daughter for our family of sons, but was that just a secret desire? Was it something I was longing for?

When the ultrasound technician was showing us our baby for the first time on the screen today, I was mesmerized by the beating heart. The little arms moving, legs bent, ribs showing. I was in awe at this life inside me, living and moving around and safe. When she asked if we'd like to know if it was a boy or girl, we said yes please. But until that moment I kinda forgot to look for that "part." I was lost in the miracle.

I keep playing it over and over in my mind. Her pointing the little computer arrow to my baby's underside and saying, "it's a little girl."

Smiles filled the room and I just looked at her and said "are you sure are you sure are you sure?" Because we've never been this way before. My baby was giving us quite the show and the tech said she is very sure.

And we are very excited. And walking on clouds. And smiling. A lot. We've never been this way before, and I'm liking the change of scenery already.