April 30, 2008

What's In A Name? Everything!

So, whenever anyone asks us if we have names picked out for the baby, our answer is usually that we're waiting to find out if it's a boy or girl. And that's partly true. I think that once we find out, it will help me attach a bit easier to choosing the right name. But to be completely honest, I think we do know the names we like already.

And we're not telling.

The ultrasound is fast approaching. Once we find out then... we're just going to have to tell people that yes we have a name but no we won't tell you. Unfortunately it doesn't ever come out sounding the way I'd like it to. When we did this with Gray I was surprised at how huffy people would get!

It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't care for that flicker of your eyebrows, twitch of your mouth, widening of your eyes for just a split second- and you don't even realize you are doing it- but it says to me you don't like it or you question our choice. And as much as I usually do not care about what other people think, when it comes to naming my babies, I only want good feelings during the process. One little bit of negativity does make me rethink things. And it's not like we're picking some offensive name that might scar our child forever. We carefully consider the perfect first and middle name for each of our sweet children. We also want to meet this baby in person to make sure the name we like is really their name! And the revealing of that name at birth makes it all even more special to us.

There's also the fact that I know a lot of preggy people out there right now and our name could give them ideas. Of course I am not against someone naming their child the same name- we all can name as we choose, but having that form of originality, knowing it's a name both hubby and I created together just as we created this life, it means something to us.

So anyway, if you are someone close to me and take it personally that I won't tell you the names that we like, I hope you will now understand. This secret is different, it's something important and magicial and soon- very soon you will know the name, with a face, and sweet spirit and smile to go with it. That's how I want it to be.

42 comments:

  1. We have our names picked already also. lol I'll likely share...I don't mind. I can't keep things like that to myself for so long.

    But I do think I see where you're coming from. Looking forward to hearing what you're having on May 9th!

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  2. I was the same way. We told nmaes we liked with our twins and I hated how people offered their opinions of the names without us asking!
    This time we just told them it was a surprise.
    We ignored the huffy attitudes.

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  3. Totally get you on this one! Thankfully with X we didn't have to endure the whole 40 weeks of no-name telling but we learned really quick (after at about 8 weeks along we said if we were having a girl her name would be Anouk - enter laughs and OMG's) that it's best to wait.

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  4. You know I don't care. Do what you want and I'll wait until that little one arrives.

    Lori

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  5. i told ppl my names but ppl ESPECIALLY older ppl dislike my childrens names! i love them! do what you want...they are yours!

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  6. That's a good idea. My husband and I made the mistake of telling what we'd name our baby if it was a boy, and people were so rude about it! Some people even made shamefully racist comments about the name. Thankfully we had a girl because we still haven't found a boy's name we both agree on and won't be tortured over by our families.

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  7. Totally understand. Wish we would have done the same. It always broke my heart when people would say they didn't like the name we picked out. I did a lot of second guessing myself.

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  8. When we had our daughter everyone like her name, but when we found out that we were having a boy the second time around, we made the mistake of telling people the names we were thinking of. I can't believe how RUDE people can be about what WE liked. I finally got to the crazy, preggo mama stage which resulted in telling my in laws that they wouldn't find out the name until they got the birth annoucment:)

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  9. We didn't squeak on our names until our babes were here. Since we knew their sex, this was the BIG surprise. Promise. I won't ask ;)

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  10. It's been a while since I've stopped by. I didn't realize we were so close in due dates. It will be a wonderful summer. :)

    I completely agree on the names... we never share our name ideas. Actually our boys haven't even been named until they were born and they weren't named off of the list anyway.

    How exciting that you are finding out... did you find out with the others? We're not finding out again. :)

    have a great day!

    Brittany

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  11. Everyone made comments about Roo as a middle name, saying they would only use her first name, etc. Jasper, too, everyone wanted to know what nickname we were going to give him.

    Now I can't imagine them being called anything else!

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  12. I'm like that too, I don't want ANYONE to know the name before he's born. I made a mistake of telling my sis-in-law the boy's name I wanted when I was pregnant last time and she used it b/c I had a girl and figured I wouldn't want it anymore. how rude! I still would have loved the name :( and now I'm having a boy and could have used it

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  13. We kept our name choices secret from everyone when we were pregnant with Abby. We figured that since we were revealing the gender, that we wanted to keep something a surprise. And I remember the attitudes we got about it too. With the second two, we told people some of the names we were thinking of but we didn't really decide on a final choice (for any of them) until after they were born and we could see which name seemed to 'fit' best. :)

    Good for you!

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  14. I completely understand! I wish I would have done the same thing. My middle son, Malachi was a name that we both LOVED and was carefully chosen and it means The Lord's Messenger. We did get a few negative reactions while I was preggo but the worst was After! Someone I was acqainted with said (without holding back her disgust)
    "you named your son Malachi! that is the name of the DEVIL CHILD FROM CHILDREN OF THE CORN!"
    Some people have no tact. I calmly told her that I had never seen the movie and that we loved the name. I told her what it meant to us and the original meaning. I think it is wise to keep it secret. Best wishes with picking out a name!

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  15. I agree about not sharing the name. We didn't find out the gender of the baby at our 19 week US on monday, so we're going to have to come up with boy and girl names, but I don't think we'll tell anyone when we choose. My sister told people the names for hers (coming in May), but I think part of that was so I wouldn't use the names (which I wouldn't anyway). Her girl's name is Margaret and I know my mom isn't crazy about it (I don't think she told my sister that). Mom's already planning to call her Maggie. My mom also shot down a couple of my name ideas--Henry and Daniel. Usually my mom is more supportive than this!

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  16. I completely understand your perspective. Surprises are fun - and I will look forward to seeing photos of your little one in September and hearing the name that you have chosen. I'm sure it will be a perfect fit.

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  17. I completley agree. We are having baby # 3 and finally its our boy. Since we are all so excited to be welcoming this baby into our family we thought a little surprise would be great!

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  18. We didn't tell anyone Jayce's name until after he was born. I was a little less honest though, when someone would ask. We would always say that we hadn't decided yet when really we knew full well what his name was going to be. I just figured that since everyone already knew that I was having a boy it might be fun to leave a little something to reveal at birth!

    Can't wait to *meet* your little one when he or she comes along!

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  19. I think it's lovely, you've obviously put a lot of thought into it.

    I remember people getting huffy that we didn't know the gender of our third baby and weren't finding out, even though we told them our chosen names. My goodness- some people!

    I'll have to watch for your announcement soon on baby's gender. :)

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  20. I so understand. With our first, we ended up changing it because of a comment that one of our friends said. And now, we're considering the same name if this one is a boy! And, we aren't telling either!

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  21. I love the way you put everything into perspective! :-)

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  22. My friend is having a girl in June and her and her husband can't agree on anything, so they are actually taking suggestions! Ha!
    I understand why you don't "spill the beans" on baby names. For me it really wasn't a big deal. If someone didn't like a name I was thinking about, TUFF!
    Oh and same friend, she had her girl name picked out, didn't tell anyone (but me) and her brother in law and his wife named their baby the same thing.

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  23. Never share the names. Makes it much more exciting for everyone when you have the baby.

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  24. gretchen from lifenutApril 30, 2008 11:28 AM

    We do the same thing. We have never, ever announced a name until our babies arrived.

    In fact, we don't even choose the name until we see the baby.

    I know whatever you name your new sweetpea, it will be perfect!

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  25. I think it's your choice whether you tell others or not!

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  26. We told everyone the name we chose, but we are always very deliberate in choosing names. I truly believe that there is a right name for my children, and sometimes that name takes some time to find. Maybe next time we'll try not telling until baby is here, sounds like fun even if you do have to endure a few not so nice looks and comments.

    Can't wait for the big announcement on May 9th!

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  27. I totally understand were you are coming from with this! I wish we had done this, b/c we did get some negative comments when we told people. And it really can just burst your bubble!
    If we were ever to have another(which is very unlikely) I would totally go the "not telling the name" route!
    I'm looking forward to hearing who is in there on May 9th!

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  28. I completely agree with you on this one. If I could keep my big mouth shut I wouldn't tell anyone either. As it is, I usually give people a list of names we are considering and then don't tell them the final until baby arrives. I like to keep some suspense for the birth other than just weight and height.

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  29. I don't blame you one bit, Steph. I think when someone asks you, you should just say, "It's a surprise." I don't know why anyone would take that the wrong way.

    Imagine how irritating it would be if you told the name you'd chosen and everyone liked it so much, they used it too. You're right. There are a LOT of preggy people who may be struggling with a name and think the one you've chosen is perfect. :-)

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  30. We waited to tell others too, but we mainly said we couldn't nail down a name... which was partly true. We had one and a backup in case the first didn't "match" the baby... you know what I mean. Anyway, we can't wait to find out the sex and the name in a few months!

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  31. Totally agree with you! My husband just told everybody we were naming our child Bob. (No offense to any Bob's out there!) Our first was a girl, everybody of course laughed. Then we were expecting a boy, and again, his name was going to be Bob. Now we are expecting Baby #3. So if anybody asks, the baby will be named Bob. ;) It sure got people off our backs about knowing the name! I mean, there's gotta be SOME element of surprise.
    ~jenna

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  32. YES! We did the same thing with our Bubbalu too (BTW that's NOT his real name ;)

    We told everyone we were expecting a boy, but NO we weren't sharing names.

    It doesn't allow people to say, "I don't care for that name" or some such nonsense.

    You GO girl :)

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  33. Yeah, me too. To all of that. Our girl has a name, and it's 99% set in stone (unless we meet her and realize it's totally wrong) but I'm not spilling. I just don't want feedback. I love the name, and I know it's right. I can't wait to introduce her to everyone.

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  34. We do the same thing! Actually we picked out 3 names for Oliver and decided on the right one when he was born. This time around we can't agree on anything! We had 2 friends and 2 family members pregnant at the same time and we didn't want them to "steal" our name, either.

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  35. Well, let me tell you...people get offended when you don't find out the sex too! There were so many people frustrated with me because we didn't find out ahead of time with Popeye. People are silly.

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  36. I loved this post Steph! We kept our names secret too and some people got down right obnoxious about it. We like very unusual names and we just wanted to keep it private and honestly we didn't want any opinions. Your the baby's mama, you do what's best for your family. :-)

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  37. I always told our names beforehand, but I totally get where you are coming from. If we ever have a third, I don't think I'm sharing.

    Interestingly enough, I have found that people still "steal" names even after the baby is born. I never thought I cared about this until Kendall. I knew poor Emma (a family name) was sharing her name with half the world, so I wanted our second child to have a unique name that could be just hers, but wasn't too out there.

    However, not one, but TWO people I know have since taken Kendall after hearing about the birth of our little one. I am still trying to take it as a compliment... :)

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  38. I wanted to do the same but everyone kept bugging me and I finally gave in. And then you tell people and they all have to give you their opinions, so frustrating! So good choice.

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  39. I am NEVER speaking to you again! ;)

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  40. i agree--whatever works for you. it is amazing how freely people give their opinions about pregnancy and child rearing.

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  41. We did the same w/ our first. When ppl would ask I'd give them like our top 10 list. Once we decided, I casually omitted the name we had chosen from that list. haha
    I figured out quick that ppl were generous in their suggestions and comments on the names we had picked and like you, I really didn't much care to hear their negative thoughts.
    Besides, since we were telling everyone the gender ahead of time I thought it was a nice to keep at least the name a surprise.

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  42. With Lucy, we got lots of raised eyebrows and, "Oh, that's my dog's name!"

    With Asher, no one knew until we presented him. We feigned that we didn't know what we were going to name him, but really alot of it was that we didn't want anyone's opinion on the matter!

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