I have been struggling with just what it is I've been feeling about the upcoming Christmas. Why is it so hard for me to "get in the Christmas spirit" this season, more than before? I think I've been mistaking this so-called "Christmas spirit" for decorating and shopping and wrapping presents and consuming and wanting and that's just not what I am about right now. And that's not what Christmas is about either.
I read a post recently by one of my favorite bloggers- Sara at Walk Slowly, Live Wildly, and it really spoke to me. A Strange Dimness. I can relate to this. I feel a strange dimness over the traditional worldly things for this holiday season, and life in general. How much time and worry we put into presents and decorations and is this toy made in China? and what we'll wear to a holiday party that only lasts two hours. I am guilty of this, yes! But I don't want to continue to be this way. Honestly... do those things really matter or even last longer than a few hours or mortal days and weeks?
I am not sure how much longer I can stomach all the excess of things and want for more things and the bigger and better and newer and so on and so on. More. More. More. On the outside we have everything or are talking about how someday we'll have everything. When inside us we are empty. It will never fill us up.
And I don't mean to sound like a Scrooge, because I still enjoy giving and receiving gifts and celebrating the holiday and listening to Christmas carols, and all that good stuff. But, I have moved my focus from temporary things and am fixing it on the forever things, and this now changes my view of pretty much everything. I want my main focus to be the things that last and the things that mean something. It would be wrong of me to go on blogging every day without telling you what's really behind my words and in my heart. And of course I am just growing here- taking baby steps. Baby steps hopefully in the right direction.
So evidently, in truth, I am longing for the real Christmas spirit, wanting to put the spotlight on the birth of Jesus, His only purpose to save this world. And oh, does this world need saving...