February 7, 2007

Works For Me Wednesday: How To Be A Good Wife


It's the Love, Sweet Love edition over at Rocks In My Dryer's Works For Me Wednesday today. Bloggers everywhere are sharing their tips and ideas to make hubby's heart skip a beat.

I wanted to share something that I came across that seems SO outdated and belittling to
some wives, but I find it to be a great guideline for how I try to be a good wife.

Of course, some of it is quite amusing and I do not agree with
everything listed here. But I do think really and truly underneath, this is the right idea. It ministers to my husband, and that's what is most important.

The following is from a 1950's home economics textbook intended for high school girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.

  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
  • During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  • Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Be happy to see him.
  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
  • Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
  • Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  • A good wife always knows her place.
And I must add that I would love to see what the boys were taught about being good husbands...

21 comments:

  1. I definitely agree with some of those, but some are very dated! :) I'm trying to be a better wife and I love having dinner ready for the hubby when he comes home. He loves it, too! Thanks for sharing this! I found it very interesting. Have a great day!

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  2. I am very old fashioned about wifery! I agree with really taking care of your man. I read a book like this when I was a newly wed and a teen bride. It was harder for me to follow then, for I was young, but as Ive gotten older I have seen the wisdom in it!

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  3. That souns you heard was my lower jaw hitting the floor. Excuse me while I go pick it up . . .

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  4. How fun! Thanks for posting these. I had a friend tell me once that it made a big difference to her husband to have the table set for dinner when he came home. Even if she didn't know what she was going to be making, it gave him the feeling that at least something was going to happen dinner-wise in the next half-hour or so. So, now I try to remember to set the table before my hubby's arrival. It does make a difference. And oftentimes it motivates my hubby to help with the dinner.
    Nikki ALL OUT Valentine’s Day

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  5. There is such wisdom in this list. Would this be a good time to mention that the divorce rate back in 1950 was like 5% ??? Compared to now where it is estimated at 50-75%. Hmmmmmmm. yes, I know the feminists are hissing at me LOL.

    An excellent book to read, with advice such as you listed is: Created To Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. You can find it for about $12 at www.nogreaterjoy.org
    I cannot recommend this book enough. It's priceless.

    Wonderful Post :)

    Staci

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  6. I am ALL for women to have a voice and rights and definitely do not believe we are lower than men in any regards... and I have found that my CHOICE to adhere to some of the suggestions in this list has EMPOWERED me as a woman and wife... not sure it's easy to understand or explain, but that's how it's worked for ME!

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  7. I remember seeing this years ago in an email, as a joke. But I agree...I remember thinking, hmmm...some of these are very nice!

    But the last one...ouch!

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  8. Thanks for posting that list it helps keep things in prospective!

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  9. I agree with a lot of these things, too - not what they're suggesting, but in making my home a relaxed, pleasant place for my husband to come home to and making myself attractive and nice to be around. The actual article is a modern joke, but it's a sign of what a sad state of affairs a lot of modern homes are in that the idea of being cute and having the house be welcoming when one's husband comes home would be, you know, a joke.

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  10. My mom was telling me how my grandmother used to do all of this before my grandfather came home. Yes some of these could make a big difference in your home life. Great post. Food for thought.

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  11. This was so interesting... and you are so brave for posting it -- good for you! There were a few things on the list that made me cringe, but overall, I think it is a great example of how to show love to our hubby.

    And I totally agree with your comment about CHOICE. That was my favorite part of the movie, Mona Lisa Smile; when the woman who got accepted to law school CHOSE to be a wife and mom over a career in law. It wasn't her choice that empowered me, but the fact that she chose what was right for her, not what was "politically correct."

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  12. I love these. They ARE old-fashioned, but they are also what is lacking in today's society. I agree that not ALL of them are useful, but so many if we would do them would make a happier marriage. Good one Stephanie!

    THE sweater!!! OH. My. Word.!!! Girl you are SO good!!!

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  13. A friend mailed this to me when I decided to me a SAHM...see I dont have many at home mommy friends...all of my friends work..I'm actually meeting some with the help of my MOPS group...I agree with some of these....but my friend thought it was hilarious.

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  14. :eyepop: "His topics of conversation are more important than yous..."

    Stephanie, I understand that you are embracing the spirit of the article and not necessarily the specific suggestions. Hey, whatever keeps a marriage strong and happy and both partners content is a good thing in my mind. If you like embracing a more traditional role then jolly for you!

    I had a friend tell me once that she puts her husband's towel in the dryer while he showers so it is warm when he gets out. My jaw hit the floor because not only had I never done something like that, I would never think to in the first place. But it was very considerate and that ultimately was the point of why she was doing it. I could definitely be more considerate of my husband so I cannot judge her for her choices!

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  15. I've read these before, and they are nice, and it is nice to make your home nice (am I using the word "nice" enough?) BUT what about us?? We've been at home all day long with babies and toddlers, but it's all about him??? I think this could go bothways. Maybe on the weekends when he's not busy with boring stressful people at work, he could make the days quiet and the children quiet for us!! Sounds good for me!!

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  16. good times. my mother and i had a good chuckle over these when it was forwarded to her a few years ago. my favorite is "you have no right to question him."

    thanks for visiting my blog. I wish i had taken that beautiful shot myself, but a gal on my recent trip to greece was the lucky one who caught that moment. From behind a bus window, too - can you believe that?

    cheers!

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  17. I got that in an email a while back...and although some of them had me rolling my eyes..there was alot of truth to most of it. Great post!!

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  18. P.S. - You got me thinking so I just did a sort of spin off on my blog. :-) Thanks again for a great post!

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  19. I have wanted to post this same article for a long time, but didn't know how to word my opinion on it like you did so perfectly. All I have to say is Amen.

    blackeyedsue.blogspot.com posted something similar yesterday. Got me inspired to be a better wife.

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  20. For me, when I read this article, the message that came loud and clear to me was to respect your husband as you would like to be respected.

    I for one, see the value it some of those points and to a certain degree practice them. I am also very lucky to have a husband that does like wise.

    I like this post Stephanie! Thanks for sharing!!

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  21. Those crack me up! Don't complain if he stays out all night? What the heck! Then we shouldn't question his integrity? I am laughing so hard right now.

    I am so glad times have changed!

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